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You’re reading this because you’re not quite ready to trade your office wear for maternity wear.
Balancing career ambitions with motherhood is tough, but even tougher when your partner’s biological clock is ticking louder than yours.
How should you approach this issue?
Well, both of you have valid feelings and your husband’s desire for a mini-me is just as real as your “love” for your job.
Chat about your hopes, fears, and dreams; maybe there’s a compromise hiding somewhere.
What are your options?
- Delaying parenthood
Who says you need to have a baby right now? Consider setting a future timeline that works for both of you. Perhaps in a few years, you will feel more ready.
- Alternative paths
Freeze those eggs, girl! It’s like pressing pause on your fertility clock.
- Career flexibility
Look into flexible work arrangements, remote options, or even part-time gigs. Some employers can be very accommodating (or should be soon).
If you don’t already know, all employers must have a process for workers to request flexible work arrangements starting in December.
Here’s a quick summary of the abovementioned linked news article:
- From December 2024, all employers in Singapore must have a process in place for workers to formally request flexible work arrangements.
- Employers have two months to decide on such requests and must provide reasons if a request is rejected.
- The guidelines aim to make it easier for employees to request flexible work arrangements while acknowledging employers’ right to decide work arrangements.
- Flexible work arrangements include flexi-place (working remotely), flexi-time (adjusting working hours), and flexi-load (part-time work or job sharing).
- Employees should make requests responsibly, considering the impact on workload and performance. Employers should explore ways to accommodate requests where feasible.
- Tripartite partners will provide support to employers to implement flexible work arrangements effectively, including training and funding.
Seeking support
You can also consider booking a session with a marriage counselor or family therapist to gain an unbiased perspective and let them be the guiding compass you need.
Or grab teh/kopi/bubble tea with a friend who’s been there, done that.
Also, it’s good to investigate your workplace support options. Are there flexible parental leave policies or back-to-work programs? Chat with HR on what’s available.
Making a decision
- Setting goals together
As a team of two, write down your short-term and long-term objectives. Where do you see your career in 5 years? What about your family life?
- Flexibility is key
Life likes throwing us lemons, so keep an open mind.
Maybe you can find an in-between, like delaying parenthood for a year or two while you go chase after some career milestones.
Or perhaps there’s a way to balance both without sacrificing either?
Don’t be afraid to voice your concerns. Your career matters too. Take time to think it through and don’t let anyone pressure you to make an immediate decision. Whatever you decide, make sure it sits well within you. Your life goals are just as important as his.
