relationships Archives | Page 3 of 4

Why Money Is A Major Factor In Dating

For a blossoming romance, a lover’s worth cannot be measured by his or her bank account, neighborhood, and car. The lack of these “financial signifiers” may serve as warning signs along the way but not as the destination itself.

However, the weight pressed on money when dating hardens as the relationship grows. Couples begin to examine whether they can trust each other’s financial decisions as well as whether they can make sacrifices for the common good. Nobody wants to end up with someone who has no motivation (slacker) and discipline (deadbeat)!

Particularly, money is a major factor in dating when…

1. BEING BROKE AFFECTS YOUR DATING HABITS

There is nothing wrong with spending a date at home with a bunch of DVDs and home-made meals every once in a while. But if low-cost dates are the only types of dates you can afford due to your outstanding debt and insufficient income then you may be in trouble.

According to Toni Coleman, a Psychotherapist and relationship coach, regularly suggesting to do cheap activities can be a serious red flag for your date. If you are essentially broke and your debt affects your romantic life, consider spending more time satisfying your credit score first instead of “pleasing” a potential partner.

2. THERE ARE DIFFERENCES IN YOUR MONEY BELIEFS

You see, all of us hold a set of beliefs about money (e.g., how it should be spend or how it should be earned). Whether we learned it from childhood or thru our experiences, we will carry these beliefs for a lifetime. If your lover sees no point in spending lavishly on dates and gifts when courting you and you desire that, then you can get into an argument. You cannot throw all your goals and values in the rubbish just because your current partner has different beliefs.

You have to do what is best for you and your finances.

3. YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL ISSUES

It is never attractive to talk about how expensive things are and how these negatively impact your life. Your date does not want to hear you complain about what you can and cannot afford because it makes the person feel that he or she is an added financial burden.

If you have been a couple for over two years then it is okay to share your financial issues as relationships are built on trust and respect. But if you have not been dating for that long, think about the wrong message you are sending thru your constant money complaints.

4. YOU HAVE SUBSTANTIAL DEBT

Having a substantial debt with a bad credit score is a deal breaker for lots of people! FreeCreditScore.com polled 1,000 adults in 2013 and found that about 30% of women and 20% of men said that they would not marry a person with a low credit score. In contrast, a good credit score proved to strengthen the union of two people.

Image Credits: www.pixabay.com

Although money is not a major factor in the first stages of dating, few years down the road you will realize how important it is in a relationship. After all, money or the lack of it, is usually the predictor for most divorces.

Sources: 1, 2, 3, & 4

Financial Intimacy: How To Mix Love With Money

Relationships and investing are both complicated and mixing the two can either be a home run or a recipe for disaster. As Michelle Singletary, author of Your Money and Your Man: How You and Prince Charming Can Spend Well and Live Rich, once said:

“Couples want to know should they have his, hers, or ours, or all of the above. They’re not sure how to manage it. And that’s where a lot of the arguments come in, especially if there is uneven income earning between the two.”

Sometimes an individual may feel like a child receiving an allowance from his or her spouse, but it turns out that the person simply cannot handle money well. The situation can be resolved if both parties begin to be accountable for their money. Aside from this, here are some tips to boost your financial intimacy:

1. INTERVIEW EACH OTHER

Upon entering a serious relationship, you must discuss about your perspectives on money, spending habits, and sharing costs. This will make talks about financial issues easier as time goes by – especially if you are planning to spend the rest of your lives together.

For couples who are about to get married, you must touch on the long-term subjects such as how to enhance your credit scores, how to address retirement, how lavish your wedding ceremony will be, and how do you plan to manage your money.

2. BE COMPLETELY HONEST

Regardless of whether you have joint or separate bank accounts, you must always be honest to your partner about your current financial situation and your ideal financial situation. Tell him or her about your purchases, debts, income, assets and other things that are in your account/s right now. As for your ideal financial situation, relay your future plans such as having annual overseas trips.

Financial intimacy entails full disclosure about your finances including knowing what documents are signed and where the records are kept.

3. SEEK OUTSIDE HELP

When it comes to marriage, you become half of a legal and financial partnership once you say “I do!” This is why Premarital Counseling incorporating a strong financial component is a great help. If you are deciding to purchase a condo or an HDB through your CPF accounts, the financial professional will guide you to good credit score and substantial amount of savings. An accountant during the first year of marriage is also helpful as your taxes can get complicated during the transition from single to married.

Image Credits: pixabay.com (CC0 Public Domain)

Sources: 1,2, & 3

5 Major Money Lies That Can Tear Your Relationship Apart

The fundamental basis of marriage is trust. And when one or both parties breached that trust, it harms the relationship. As family law attorney, Steven Mindel once said: “Financial infidelity is the root cause of many crumbling unions.”

Prevent this crumbling from happening by knowing the 5 Major Money Lies That Can Tear Your Relationship Apart:

1. “IT IS JUST S$60!”

One of the most common financial lies that people are guilty about is lying about one’s spending. Instead of admitting that you bought a S$68 dress, you would round off its price to S$60 as it seems easier to accept.

I have to admit, I had done this a couple of times during my teenage years. I just did not want to tell my mother the whole truth due to the irrational fear of her getting mad at me. Applying the same childish notion to your marriage does not build a mature relationship! It is an unfair approach to spending the money that you both worked hard for.

2. “I ONLY HAVE ONE BANK ACCOUNT!”

Another financial infidelity case that experts see most of is hiding a secret stash. Having a separate bank account is acceptable but, you have to tell your spouse about it.

According to Nancy Butler, a certified financial planner and divorce financial analyst, one of the telltale signs that your partner is guilty of this offense is when you received a bank statement for an account that you did not even know existed.

3. “I PAID THE BILLS ON TIME.”

Sometimes, work and home stress can consume you to the point that you forget your responsibilities such as paying the monthly utility bills. To avoid confrontation, you immediately said that you settled everything already. By doing so, you can experience damage to your credit history as well as penalty fees.

4. “ALL OF MY MONEY GOES TO US.”

Growing up in an Asian household where family is one of the top priorities, it is hard not to help a family member in need. It is hard to be in a situation wherein you are thinking of your financial health while feeling responsible for that of the others.

These type of lie may come from the people who hate lying but they do not know how to handle the situation.

5. “WE ARE ABLE TO AFFORD THIS DEBT.”

In most cases, going further into a pile of debt is never a good idea especially if one of two parties is not even aware of it. Keeping your bad credit score or debt history from your spouse may lead him or her to taking on more credit. Instead of purchasing a home within your means, your partner goes beyond it due to the assumption that you both can afford it.

Image Credits: pixabay.com (CC0 Public Domain)

Telling your partner that you already have a budget for your debt is only misleading you both.

Sources: 1 & 2

Send Out More Love Than Money With 4 Couple Saving Tips

When it comes to love, some people go all out just to make their partners smile.

However, dating with a limited budget can sometimes be stressful and embarrassing. Not anymore!

Manifest your affection in these budget-friendly ways:

1. AVOID UNNECESSARY CELEBRATIONS

Some couples are fond of “weeksaries and monthsaries”. That weekly or monthly celebrations can accumulate to a huge sum of money by the time the year ends!

Save cash and still do something unforgettable by having an anniversary celebration when he or she least expects it. Explore your options and stick to your budget with gifts such as a romantic home-cooked dinner, a handwritten love letter, or a well-decorated scrapbook of your memories.

2. SPLIT THE BILL

A couple with a healthy relationship is comfortable with the idea of give and take. This can be applied when paying the bills. In a society where more women feel empowered with their finances, splitting the bill is usually accepted. Ignore the gender norms that urge men to pay for all the dates!

Image Credits: TheeErin via Flickr (CC License)

Value each other’s money and treat each other once in a while.

3. BUILD A COUPLE FUND

If splitting the bill is not your cup of tea, consider creating a “couple fund” wherein both of you can contribute a decent amount of money to use for special occasions or milestones.

Your total couple fund will dictate the nature (i.e., place, time, or itinerary) and the budget of your date. You can enjoy a dinner at the Singapore Flyer or a weekend trip to Bali!

Image Credits: pixabay.com (License: CC0 Public Domain)

When both of you are really determined to reach your goals, nothing can stop you.

4. BE PRESENT

As cliché as this may sound, your presence is enough to make someone feel appreciated. Spend quality time with your special someone without breaking the bank with these ideas:

a. Learn A Skill

There is nothing sweeter than sharing your interests to your partner. If you are a fan of cooking and baking then, teach him or her the basic recipes and techniques. But, if neither of you have an expertise, lookup free online tutorials and make DIY projects together.

b. Enjoy A Romantic Date Night

Get to know each other while playing the infamous childhood game of Truth or Dare. Or, learn a lot about his or her boiling points while playing poker and wage it with anything other than money (e.g., kisses or cupcakes).

c. Go To Illusionary Museums

Indulge your partner’s addiction for Selfies by taking good photos inside the illusionary museums in Singapore such as Trick Eye Museum and Alive Museum. These unique places boast with eye-catching 3D and 4D artworks, which combine 3D painting techniques, installations, and state-of-the-art technologies to make things appear real.

Get the most out of your money at the Trick Eye Museum by buying tickets online to get 15% discount and by going on 31 October onward as a new batch of artworks will be available then. Tickets to both museums range from S$17-S$25 each.

Image Credits: instagram.com/agoncilloanna

There is absolutely nothing wrong about staying frugal while dating! After all, you are investing on your future as a couple. 🙂

Cost-Effective Gifts Your Special Someone Would Really Want

You do not have to splurge so much to give your boyfriend or girlfriend a really great gift. Explore your options and budget with these gift ideas…

1. EVENING OUT AT THE THEATRE

Making unforgettable memories is important in a lasting relationship. No matter how far in advance the show is, if you think she is into it then, buy the tickets. This way, you two will have a date night to look forward too.

Eventbrite Singapore showcases a list of events happening nationwide. Currently, Lee Foundation Theatre is having ticket sales on the “Then & Now” concert by Singapore Wind Symphony (SWS). The concert features previous music director Joost Flach, who played a crucial role in shaping SWS as well as the up and coming young conductor named Seow Yibin. General tickets are sold at S$16.63, here.

Image Credits: pixabay.com (License: CC0 Public Domain)

2. PHOTO ALBUM

Want to make those unforgettable memories last longer? Take pictures of it then, collate them into an album. It is really simple to make a scrapbook full of photos and it does not have to be perfect as long as it comes from your heart. The sentimental value adds points to your relationship.

If you are looking for a shop that prints your photos conveniently, look no further. PixaRoll, an online shop that transforms your memories into keepsakes such as stickers and stamps, offers photo printing for as low as S$12 (12 pieces of 3.5 x 3.5 inch square prints). Or, you can make a digital photo album and have it printed at Photobook Singapore for as low as S$34 (40 pages of 6 x 6 inch album).

Image Credits: pixabay.com (License: CC0 Public Domain)

3. ROMANTIC INDOOR DINNER

Nothing screams romance more than a home-cooked dinner. Just cook a two-course meal at your house and purchase a meal from your favorite restaurant in case something bad happens. If you want to spice things up you may:

a. Put scented candles: IKEA sells a pack of 12 small scented candles for S$7.90.

b. Put flowers on the center of the table: Floral Garage Singapore sells freestyle bouquets for only S$29.90. Tell them how you are feeling and briefly describe your love story so they can create a bouquet that complements your relationship.

Image Credits: pixabay.com (License: CC0 Public Domain)

4. WRITE LOVE LETTERS

In the digital age, a handwritten love letter is both utterly unique and undeniably special. Write your girlfriend or boyfriend a series of affectionate letters with various messages of being thankful, sorry, and in love. For example, you may highlight these titles on top:

a. “You need to know how much I adore you.”
b. “I made you mad and I am deeply sorry.”

Best of all? Colored and designed papers cost only S$3 and less at Popular Bookstore or Daiso.

Image Credits: pixabay.com (License: CC0 Public Domain)

Search the site