5 Financial Red Flags in a Relationship

Is your relationship doomed?

While you and your partner are compatible in many areas of your life, it is possible to be financially incompatible. Ongoing financial problems can quickly put a strain on your relationship. As such, these are some red flags that you may keep a lookout for.

#1: YOUR PARTNER HIDES HIS OR HER CASH FLOW

What will you do if you find a receipt or a billing statement for a purchase that your significant other made? Moreover, he or she gets defensive every time you bring it up. Over-spending, lying, and hiding finances can destroy any relationship.

Your partner not only spends money without telling you, but also spends a portion of your joint savings and hides it. You can work through your financial issues by attending counseling together.

#2: YOUR PARTNER CONTROLS YOU THROUGH MONEY

One of the financial issues that counselors observe in a marriage is financial abuse. A spouse tries to control the other through money and allowance. This is more common for people who only have a single-income household. It is nice to have someone take care of financial matters, but decisions need to be made as a team.

Your spouse should not hang financial decisions over you once you are married. Consider seeking help before the situation becomes too serious to manage.

#3: YOUR PARTNER LIES ABOUT FINANCIAL MATTERS

One of the biggest red flags that you must watch out for is dishonesty about financial situations. From small instances such as hiding the amount spent on a dress to big instances such as hiding the amount of debt they have, lying about your bad financial situation and spending habits can hurt your relationship.

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Lying sets a precedent for later in the marriage, and it is not a thing that you want to deal with.

#4: YOUR PARTNER HAS AN ADDICTION

It is tough to maintain the stability of your relationship when your partner has an addiction problem. From drug addiction to gambling or shopping addiction, you need to handle your financial issues as a team when addiction is involved.

These types of behaviors can affect your finances and destroy years of hard work. You should certainly see a counselor to work through your partner’s struggles with addiction.

#5: YOUR PARTNER DOES NOT PAY BILLS ON TIME

While everyone makes mistakes, it is a different story if your partner consistently pays his or her bills late. Does your partner notice? Does your partner care?

If you live together, this shows that your partner is not considering you or how unhealthy habits affect the relationship. Discuss this important matter with your partner.

Sources: 1 & 2

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10 Ideal Dates Based On Your Love Language

When you find the person that truly makes you happy and fulfilled, you will take the extra effort to build a long-lasting relationship. Strengthen the foundation that you built by having date nights or weekend getaways. Make your partner feel loved and appreciated by speaking their love language.

Dr. Gary Chapman is the renowned author of the “5 Love Languages”. It highlights that there are 5 ways that we can communicate love namely through: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, or physical touch. Here are customized and inexpensive romantic ideas suited to your love languages:

RECEIVING GIFTS

For people who are fond of receiving gifts, dedicating the day to arts or shopping can be enjoyable. Schedule a painting night where you paint each other’s canvases. Exchange these trinkets of affection as the day ends. It is not only a fun activity, but also a memorable evening shared with your partner.

Another great idea is a shopping date. Add some spice by shopping for each other. Plan a shopping trip to your partner’s favorite malls. Create some guidelines such as your budget limits and your shopping categories. From an interesting book to a unique article of clothing, choose meaningful gifts for your partner. It is synonymous to playing a game with the added benefit of making your partner feel absolutely adored.

ACTS OF SERVICE

People who speak acts of service primarily feel appreciated when their partner does important things for them such as easing the list of responsibilities they have for the day. Cooking a delicious dinner at home is perfect. It eliminates a task on their to-do list and saves them from spending money. Moreover, you are showing your partner how much you care about him or her.

Another inexpensive date idea is having an art day at home. Gather all your art materials and complete a DIY project together. Make sure you pick a project that will add value to your lives.

QUALITY TIME

It is self-explanatory – people who have quality time as their love language want a fruitful date with their loved ones. You can either have a quiet dinner out or a refreshing hike. Spend uninterrupted time with your partner and chat about your day. Make sure to make a “no phones” policy to soak in each other’s company.

Alternatively, you may hike together. A nice view at the end of your walk will be an extra bonus. The most important thing is that you gave each other an opportunity to spend more time together. Take photos!

PHYSICAL TOUCH

For some people, they indulge in kisses and hugs. It does not have to be a total PDA. Simply make your partner feel safe by sharing a quick peck on the cheek or holding each other’s hands. You cannot go wrong with a couples massage. Either hire a professional or give each other massages.

You may also go ice skating or rollerblading. Hold your partner to avoid stumbling across the ice. Your muscles might be sore afterward, but your partner will be glad.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

What are words when you do not mean them when you say them? Express these loving words and show them through making a scavenger hunt or exchanging love letters. Start by creating a scavenger hunt with clues that are meaningful to your relationship (e.g., where your first date was). Add compliments in the process.

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Next, you may exchange love letters. Sit down and write to each other. Watch your partner’s heart melt with your sweet words. Tell your partner why she or he is the reason your life has changed.

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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What On Earth Is A Fiduciary?

DEFINE

Recently, my significant other opened the idea of discussing about whether it is worth getting a fiduciary and a financial adviser. I focused on the former. A fiduciary’s duties and responsibilities goes beyond directing the individual (i.e., beneficiary) to his or her financial goals. The fiduciary acts for or on behalf of the beneficiary in certain circumstances. This is a bond established by utmost confidence and trust.

A fiduciary is either a person or an organization who has the highest legal duty of being ethically bound to act in the beneficiary’s best interest. Fiduciary relationships include:

* Trustees (of a beneficiary);
* Directors (of a company);
* Agents (of a principal);
* Lawyers (to the client); and
* Partners (to each other).

Aside from this, the Courts may find a fiduciary relationship exists when the beneficiary is dependent on the fiduciary, when the fiduciary has the discretion to act unilaterally for the beneficiary, and when such power affects the beneficiary’s legal or practical interests.

Do you qualify for any of these? Are you a fiduciary? If so, here are your duties.

DUTIES

#1: First and foremost, the fiduciary needs to avoid conflict of interest and duty. For example, a company director must not put himself or herself in a position where personal interest will conflict with that of the company’s. Do everything in good faith.

#2: Secondly, you must avoid unauthorized profits. For example, your position as a company director may be in breach of your duty if you acquire a business opportunity (i.e., belonging to the company) for yourself.

#3: Lastly, the fiduciary must manage the assets of an individual for the benefits of the beneficiary himself or herself. You cannot benefit personally from the management of the beneficiary’s assets.

LAW

According to research, Singapore is part of the common law legal tradition. Thus, the decisions of precedent cases in the superior courts are binding on the lower courts. Moreover, the decisions in other Commonwealth jurisdictions (e.g., in UK, Australia, or Malaysia) can be persuasive in the Singapore courts.

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“When a fiduciary relationship is established in one of these cases, future cases are bound to follow what has been established before. Statutes that are passed by Parliament may also impose certain statutory duties akin to fiduciary duties between parties.”

Consult legal agents to know more.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Budget-Friendly Ways To Spice Up Your Love Life

Does money and partnership mix well in the game of love? I have to admit, intimacy can be expressed in different ways. Some people showcase their affection through the money and the gems it can buy. Nonetheless, your financial well-being affects your intimate relationship.

Put a spotlight on your finances to increase your bond this 2020.

PAY YOURSELF FIRST

Much has been said about loving oneself first, before loving another. I cannot stress how your capacity to love affects the way you behave in the relationship. Think of it as sourcing water from either a full or an empty pail. The same sentiment applies to paying yourself first.

Aim to grow a robust savings first, before extending your funds to your partner or spouse. I know how tempting it is to invest all your money in your business or your family. So, start small and gradually increase the amount that you will keep for yourself.

CREATE A PLEASURE ACCOUNT

When you and your partner continue to deprive yourselves on a regular basis, you will find yourselves overspending at some point. Avoid being caught in this situation by determining your couple goals and saving for these.

Aside from setting aside a portion for yourself, you must allocate money for the both of you. Use your “pleasure account” to fund entertaining activities that both of you will enjoy. You each must put an amount that is fair to you and your partner.

GO ON FRUGAL DATES

Dates should not always be lavish and expensive. You can spice up the romance by indulging on frugal dates such as a movie-night at home or having a rooftop dinner.

You can also take your partner out for some outdoor activities. Spend some time in nature to refresh your mind and body. You can go to the nearby parks, nature trails, or the Sentosa beach. Keep things simple by unplugging completely whenever possible. Cycling or jogging around can give you a whole new bonding experience. Take this time to immerse yourselves in the present and in the company of each other.

DISCUSS MONEY OPENLY

Open communication without judgment is the best way to work through challenges without fostering resentment. Do not let your partner’s unpleasant feelings build up by communicating crucial parts about your finances.

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Discuss your current debt and professional state at least once a month. Go over your finances to determine your financial problems and figure out how to solve these problems. Moreover, you must plan out how you will achieve your financial goals. This will strengthen your relationship in the long run.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Are You On The Same Page About Money As Your Partner?

As a couple, discussing about finances can be a hard pill to swallow. After all, money is a common source of issue in martial relationships. It is not something you discuss casually without emotional attachments.

Whether you like it or not, being transparent about your finances is essential in building a strong relationship. Talking about money increases understanding and facilitates cooperation as you work on the same financial goals.

You and your partner probably would not get too in-depth about your finances in the early stages of the relationship. As your relationship gets serious, so does your conversations.

Conversations about money often takes places when a couple moves in together. When this happens, do tap the fundamental elements such as your income and debt.

The next step is to decide how you are going to manage your finances as a couple and as individuals. Decide whether you will combine all your finances or keep them separate. The decision depends on your preferences and spending habits.

If you decide not to combine your finances, you need to discuss how you are going to divide the household expenses. Usually, couples prefer to either split things down the middle or to divide the expenses based on their incomes.

You will realize how different it is to be completely on your own financially and to have somebody to help you. Discussing money with your partner will significantly reduce the likelihood of relationship issues cause by finances. Furthermore, you will be able to work out on your financial goals.

Common example of financial goals include paying off debt, saving up for a flat, and being able to retire at a certain age. Goals will depend heavily on where you are at financially.

WORKING OUT THE DIFFERENCES

Handling your financial differences starts with determining what you can agree on (e.g., setting aside some money for travel or paying household bills on time). Let me illustrate it for you as a spender and as a saver. The spender should be allowed some leeway while following a specific budget for disposable income. On the other hand, the saver should be allowed to satisfy his or her needs by putting away some money to his or her own account. Compromise is the key!

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At the end of the day, mutual respect can helps overcome any disagreements about money. You might not be on the same page all the time, but being able to honor each other’s individual needs can sustain your loving relationship.

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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