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5 Marriage-Killing Money Habits

Marriage beats having a partner on a long-term basis. I am no expert on love, but my goal is to make sure that you understand the financial obligations that you each bring to the table. Otherwise, arguments can occur. Arguments about money hamper many marriages. Do not let it happen to you!

#1: FIGHTING OVER WHAT’S MINE AND YOURS

Sometimes, couples split the bills or allocate a fair amount of cash and settle everything in an equitable manner. Each spouse can spend what they have left as they see fit when the bills have been covered. This process of splitting what’s mine from what’s yours can often build resentment. It also divides the spending power, which eliminates the financial value of marriage.

#2: COLLECTING DEBTS

From student loans to credit card bills, many people come to the altar with financial baggage. If one partner has a habit of incurring debt, the other can feel the burden. People in such situations may take some solace in knowing that debts brought into a marriage stay with the person who incurred them.

#3: PLAYING WITH POWER

Power plays occur in many ways such as controlling the allowance of the unemployed spouse and comparing oneself from a spouse who came from money. It is important that both partners cooperate as a team. Joint account offers greater access and transparency, which can aid the unbalanced power dynamic in your marriage.

#4: SPENDING HABITS

Personality can play a crucial role in discussions and habits about money. The age-old conflict between spenders and savers can play out in many ways. Many of us may display more than one of these characteristics at a given time but will typically revert to one main category. Know your spouse’s money personality and discuss your differences openly. Recognize bad spending habits and address them.

#5: LOANING YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS

Do you have a habit of loaning money to your friends and family members? Respecting each other’s goals, needs, and expectations can be especially tricky. For instance, your partner’s mom may need money because of a serious illness, or your sister just gave birth. You need to allocate your travel fund to the medical expenses instead.

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The joys (and sorrows) of having a bigger family often extend to your wallet.

Sources: 1 & 2

Money Topics to Discuss When in a Long-Term Relationship

Like everything else in your relationship, it all boils down to communication. Your quest to find the right person may include someone with a pleasing personality, someone whom you share interests in, someone who gets along well with your family and friends, and other factors that affect your chemistry. As your journey to the “one” comes to an end, you must remember one crucial component: money.

Money has been known to be a leading cause of stress in relationships. This topic is often off-limits, and many couples steer away from conversations involving one’s financial situation. Maybe you are skipping money conversations because you do not want to deal with the consequences of your spending habits. Or, perhaps you have been dating for less than a year and you fear that bringing up a serious topic is going to put a pause on your fun times.

When in a long-term relationship, it is important to discuss your finances with your partner. Everything would not simply work itself out. Your relationship with money will take effort and time.

#1: TALK ABOUT YOUR VIEWS ON MONEY MANAGEMENT

What are your partner’s views on spending and saving? Start the conversation with a non-judgmental tone. You can also share some examples of past experiences that may have influenced your current views and behaviors surrounding money.

This is where you and your partner will go in-depth into how your finances look now and whether your financial habits and views are compatible with one another.

#2: ELABORATE ON YOUR MONEY GOALS

Say you have always dreamed of owning a flat, and you want to do it sooner rather than later. You may want to forgo large expenses such as a European vacation or paying rent near the city-center. Is your partner on board with the plan? Is she or he ready to purchase a flat with you? You need to talk about your money goals and work together to accomplish them.

#3: DISCUSS YOUR ASSETS AND DEBTS

Let us face it! The reality is that, even if you and your partner do not combine finances now or ever, your partner’s money situation is going to affect yours. Do discuss your assets and debts. Big expenses and potentially thousands of dollars of debt can impact any short-term or long-term plans you have.

#4: ASK IF YOUR PARTNER PAYS BILLS ON TIME

If you always pay your bills later, this could affect your ability to borrow money. Your inability to borrow money can affect your future plans with your partner. To check your credit, consider requesting a copy from one of the reporting agencies or your financial institution.

#5: DECIDE HOW YOU ARE GOING TO COMBINE FINANCES

Some couples choose to set up a joint bank account as soon as they decide that they are in it for the long haul. While others have kept their money separate for their entire lives. Decide whether you are going to combine finances or not.

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No matter how you structure your accounts, a joint spreadsheet is a helpful tool to keep track of your household expenses and income. Remember that you can affect each other’s financial situation, especially when entering matrimony.

Sources: 1 & 2

Advantages and Disadvantages of Having a Joint Bank Account

Financial matters are one of the top-cited reasons why conflicts in marriage occur. Although some couples do not like talking about money, it is still a key area to discuss with transparency and respect. Every relationship is different and there is no single right solution to tackle the finances of a couple. Having a joint bank account may be God sent for one couple, and a disastrous ordeal for another couple. Choose a solution that works best for you and your partner.

ADVANTAGES

#1: EFFICIENCY OF HOUSEHOLD MONEY MANAGEMENT

It is easier to write one cheque under a shared account when you are sharing your rent, utilities, and other household expenses. Other household expenses include your insurance costs or auto loan payments. With a joint bank account, you can streamline a lot of financial processes to manage your household. You and your partner can make equal contributions or contribute proportionally to your income.

#2: APPLICATION OF RIGHT OF SURVIVORSHIP

If an unforeseen event occurs and your partner passes away, you do not have to go through the tedious legal process of accessing your partner’s money. The right of survivorship can be applicable in this situation.

For instance, DBS can release all remaining account balance to the surviving joint account holder. The entire process can take anywhere from a few months to a year depending on the size of the estate and on whether your partner has a will.

#3: INCREASED TRANSPARENCY

Having a joint bank account diminishes secrecy. You will be able to see where your dollars are going, especially with online banking. You and your partner will see which categories you spend most of your money on. Thus, you will be able to pay taxes, balance check books, and plan your finances together.

#4: MAXIMIZE YOUR SAVINGS

Apart from getting closer to each other as you agree on your shared expenses and income, sharing a joint bank account can be financially beneficial for you. You can maximize your savings for better returns by sharing a joint bank account. Most high-interest savings accounts require salary crediting as one of the requirements. Contact your preferred financial institution to learn more.

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DISADVANTAGES

#1: DIFFERENCES IN FINANCIAL HABITS

Sometimes, you will not be able to control how your partner spends your money. If your partner has different spending patterns and decides to spend your money frivolously, you will both feel its consequences. It can be hard to explain why you spent S$200 on a shopping spree and skipped on a gift for your sister-in-law.

#2: CARRYING FINANCIAL DEBT

People come from diverse backgrounds. You bring different things into a relationship such as credit history, debts, liabilities, and other obligations. Marriage does not affect your individual credit score or credit history. However, opening a shared account could impact the credit scores of all its account holders.

#3: RISK OF RELATIONSHIP TERMINATION

What happens to your shared account once you break up? We cannot deny the possibility of relationship termination and failure. In fact, the rates of divorce in Singapore increased over the years. For instance, 16 percent split up before their 10th wedding anniversary among those who wed in 2006. This is nearly double the percentage of those who split up in 1987 (i.e., 8.7%).

#4: LACK OF PRIVACY

Now that your accounts are merged into one, you need to be open to your partner about your individual debts and spending habits. It takes time to be comfortable with a portion of your income going toward your partner’s debt and prior commitments. You need to strike a balance between privacy and transparency. Otherwise, one’s independence may be compromised.

Sources: 1, 2, & 3

5 Money Conversations to Have Before Getting Married

Getting married changes your financial life in significant ways. Not only are you opening your doors to someone or sharing your expenses, but you are also opening yourself to legal changes. While your credit score remains individualized, your future choices could be changed by what your spouse brings into the table.

#1: MONEY BELIEFS

Does your partner value money? You will get information about your partner by how they manage financial successes and setbacks.

Talking about your financial problems can reveal how you fix and learn from your mistakes. Hearing about your spouse’s successes can also reveal how he or she works toward achieving goals.

#2: FINANCIAL BACKGROUNDS

Many financial beliefs and habits are developed in childhood and carried over into adulthood. Hearing about your financial histories can pinpoint underlying patterns.

You can build a foundation of mutual understanding about your financial backgrounds as time passes. It is important to gain clarity on why the other does what they do with their money.

#3: JOINT ACCOUNTS

Should you combine bank accounts when getting married? Or shall you have separate accounts and income streams?

You can either split the bills and expenses or divide it based on each other’s income. Maintaining separate accounts can be possible while having a joint checking account to cover shared costs such as your monthly utility bills.

#4: FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES

As a team, you need to work out how you will divide the financial responsibilities. If your partner is more analytical, he or she can research on retirement investing options. Set your roles regularly and give feedback.

Do not forget to check in before making major purchases and increase your communication when there is a change in cash flow.

#5: OTHER OBLIGATIONS

Do you have other financial obligations such as running a business or supporting your sibling? The whole picture of a person’s financial circumstance cannot always be captured by personal net worth.

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Thus, you must disclose and discuss other financial obligations you each may have. Remember – you are a team!

Sources: 1 & 2

Budget-friendly Gifts For Your Beloved Girlfriend, Under S$50

Gift-giving is not always easy! If your partner is interested in gadgets, there are hundreds of options from kitchen gadgets to the latest iPhone 13. Apart from the wide variety of options, your gift will depend on the occasion. Fortunately for you, here is a list of gift ideas that you can present on any occasion. Most of these items are available online too!

#1: STARTER KIT FROM FENTY SKIN

Launched in 2020 by superstar Rihanna, Fenty Skin was created to fill in the gaps that exist across all skin types and tones. Fenty Skin is a cult favorite brand along with its predecessor Fenty Beauty. Give your special someone the gift of beauty by purchasing the Total Cleans’R Remove-It-All Cleanser. This is a 2-in-1 makeup remover and cleanser that gives you the luxurious deep clean you deserve. Its creamy lather removes dirt, oil, pollution, and long wear makeup without harming your skin. It costs S$21 at Sephora.

#2: HOMEMADE CHOCOLATES

The artisan chocolates that you can buy at specialty shops are a complete waste of money when you can make a box of chocolates by yourself. Even beginners can still make homemade chocolates as a gift.

Start by laying classic-shaped or square crunchy mini pretzels on a baking sheet. Then, place one bar of chocolate on top of each pretzel. Pop these in a pre-heated oven for about five minutes or until the chocolates begin to soften. Take these out of the oven and allow them to set. Do not worry about the price tags as the ingredients can cost you less than S$6 at your nearest supermarket.

#3: SURPRISE CAR CELEBRATION

Birthdays, anniversaries, or Valentine’s Day can be celebrated in your own home. Set up the surprise before your partner goes to work. Use the back of your car as your creative space and put banners, streamers, and balloons inside. These decorations cost less than S$10 at Shopee or Lazada.

#4: ENCHANTING DIFFUSER SET

Help your lover find her inner peace with different essential oils or diffuser sets. Gifting a diffuser will allow her to create an at-home spa vibe.

If you are looking for a classic calming aroma that can fill your space with relaxing notes, then you can get the HOOGA Reed Diffuser. It is non-electronic and extremely easy to use. The capacity is 200 ml. Price starts at S$19.90 at Lazada.

#5: BEAUTIFUL TRIO OF SUCCULENTS

Aspiring plant moms will be delighted with a trio of succulents. Marked by experts as the best type of plants for beginners, your girlfriend can enjoy fresh houseplants delivered straight to her doorstep.

The World Farm or Hua Hng Trading is one of the largest garden centers in Singapore. Prices here are usually cheaper than most nurseries and they readily stock the bestsellers such as succulents (from S$3), herbs (from S$5), and flowering plants (from S$9).

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Whether you are celebrating an anniversary or a birthday, the expectations can be high while your funds are low. If your bank account balance limits what you can spend on, consider the items on this list. Have a romantic day without spending too much!

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