Psychology Archives | Page 6 of 12

Do You Have A Financially Toxic Friend?

Whether you notice it or not, the people whom you interact the most with are likely to shape your financial decisions. Some outcomes are less positive than others. The truth is, you may not be able to change the personalities of the people around. The only thing you can change is your exposure to these people.

Filter out toxic financial relationships by distinguishing these people from the rest:

The Dollar-Pincher

There is a huge difference between prioritizing your spending and conserving because you do not want to spend your wealth! “Dollar-Pinchers” see money as a tool that they must conserve at all cost. They aim to spend a little money as possible (i.e., synonymous to a cheapskate or a miser).

Let us be realistic. Many of us have encountered a friend who seemingly dissolves when the bill arrives. To save you from an embarrassing moment with the waiter and to keep your Dollar-Pincher quiet, you opt for paying his or her share. Doing so entails that you will spend more than your allotted budget.

The Investigator

As the name suggests, the “Investigator” digs deeper into your life to reap information that you would normally share with your trusted financial planner. He or she desires to know how much you made, saved, and spend. You need to be especially careful if the Investigator is a co-worker. You see, this type of friend is least likely to be concerned with your well being. Anything you say may be used against you.

When it comes to painting my future, I am not afraid to test the waters. I have had several occupations and there was one thing that I noticed. My Investigator friend would constantly pry into my professional life. He would ask me how much my current job offer was and how much my monthly salary is. He goes even further by asking if what was offered was higher than my previous job. Needless to say, we are no longer friends.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

The Show-Off

If you are a frequenter of various social media platforms, you probably came across a friend who has a seemingly successful life. The “Show-Off” brags about his or her financial capacity by sharing his or her local and international endeavors. It is especially hard when you are roughly the same age as your friend and you find yourself making comparisons between each other’s progress.

Regularly bombarding yourself with friends who display or tell you how great they are doing with their finances can trigger unhealthy emotional responses. You may start doubting your monetary choices or start feeling depressed with your career. Please realize that you do not need to keep up with the Show-Off! Simply focus on what you are doing right with your finances.

The Wheedler

Be careful! You do not want to be misguided by the “Wheedler”. This type of friend uses flattering words and thoughts to entice you to spend beyond the bounds of your financial capability.

To put things into perspective, let us say that you are shopping with your chum Atiqah. You wanted to buy an expensive dress that you do not really need. Instead of politely suggesting to skip on the dress, Atiqah encourages you to purchase it immediately. She continues to shower you with exaggerated pleasantry until you give in. If you cannot change the Wheedler’s ways, you must only bring the amount of cash that you are willing to spend with him or her.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

It is time to turn the tables around. Search within yourself and examine whether you have been financially toxic to others. Are you willing to change for the better?

Sources: 1 & 2

5 Habits That Reek “Unprofessionalism” In The Workplace

Being successful in your field takes constant sacrifices and conscious effort. With all the things that you have invested, do not let these unprofessional habits drag you down.

THE LONE WOLF

Many Singaporeans tend to mind their own business. There is nothing wrong about that as we just value our own privacy. However, it can be harmful if you translate the “lone wolf habit” in a collaborative workplace. The lone wolf habit occurs when you prefer to accomplish tasks on your own rather than doing it swiftly as a team.

Say you are a part of the marketing department. You must communicate with the client as well as you teammates in order to minimize errors and to achieve satisfaction. You will not achieve the client’s vision if you called the shots for everything. Not only does this habit influence your professional reputation, but it may also lower your risk of getting a promotion.

THE INEFFICIENT MULTITASKER

There is a practical reason why the broadened Road Traffic Act includes the utilization of the hand-phone while driving. Under it, motorists caught using any mobile devices while the vehicle is moving will be violating the law. Accident prevention is the practical reason. You see, the act of juggling two or more things can deteriorate your concentration. It is best if you exhaust all your senses into one task at a time. The same idea can be applied in the workplace.

Browsing with your laptop, messaging your friends, or checking your social media during a meeting sends the wrong signal to your boss. It conveys that you are not interested with the important matter at hand. Pay attention instead.

THE MIGHTY BULLY

In 2015, a local article featured a story about a man who suffered from a mental breakdown due to the constant bullying in the workplace. Mr. Kenny Leong was previously shunned by his boss and co-workers due to his physical characteristics (e.g., being soft-spoken and having gentle gestures). In most places that he worked at, he was labelled with terms such as “Chao Ah Gua (slang for effeminate)” or “Woman”. Can you see how the constant exposure to bullying affected him?

Well…Mr. Leong is not alone! Surprisingly, statistics have shown that 1 in 4 Singaporeans have suffered from workplace bullying with the top aggressors being their bosses (62%) and their clients (21%). Unprofessional habits such as name-calling and spreading rumors can cause deterioration in work performance as well as mental distress.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK

Remaining calm during stressful situations is one of the abilities that you need to master in life. However, it is easier said than done. Not everybody was wired to have the patience of a preschool teacher!

Consumed by stress, you can display unpleasant behaviors ranging from spewing an audible sigh to purposefully hitting a co-worker. These said behaviors may develop a pattern in the long run. Imagine turning into the “Incredible Hulk” whenever you are faced with heated moments. There can only be one end result for your temper outburst – getting fired.

THE DRAMATIC ACTOR

Tear-jerking stories of alcoholism, extramarital affair, or bankruptcy are fascinating twists in movies and television series. But, these problems have no place in the office! Your boss does not need to know about your outstanding student loans. Your co-workers do not have to listen to you while you argue with your spouse on the phone.

Regularly bringing your personal issues in the workplace implies that you have a problem with establishing boundaries. Save the heart pounding drama for your trusted confidants and close family members. Only discuss these matters outside of work.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

What other unprofessional habits are common in the Singaporean workplace, or any workplace for that matter? Feel free to share your thoughts in the section below.

Sources:1, 2, & 3

Six Financial Beliefs To Have Or To Scrap

TAKE THESE IN

An article by Dr. Matthew James, the President of The Empowerment Partnership, enlightened its readers on the essence of prosperity. He interviewed several people who embodied a healthy relationship with money. This research led him to eight financial beliefs, which the “prosperous participants” agreed upon. Here are just three beliefs to consider:

“Money demands attention.”

Failure to keep up with your monetary affairs can result to trouble. Your mountain of bills and outstanding loans will not disappear on its own! Avoiding your responsibilities may make you blissful for now, but it will haunt you in the long run. Invest your valuable time on getting your finances straight. Pay attention to details and foster realistic commitments.

“The universe wants me to prosper.”

Dr. James stresses on the influence of the “Law of Attraction” towards money. Made popular by self-help books, Law of Attraction is the belief that we receive the energy that we emit to the world. Cultivating positive thoughts brings positive experiences. While, focusing on negative thoughts brings negative experiences. The effect of our thoughts is apparent when it comes to money or the lack of it. Re-frame your thoughts to resemble your financial behavior.

“Money will respond to the instructions I give it.”

Compared to other areas in our lives, our believes surrounding money is probably more limiting. Realizing that you are in control of your finances will enable you to be accountable for your actions. Although the beautiful Prada bag is tempting, your money follows your instructions. It does not have its own intelligence!

Image Credits: pixabay.com

The first step that you must take is to set your financial goals. These goals will help guide and motivate you when things get though.

GIVE THESE UP

After knowing about Dr. James’ prosperous beliefs, let us turn the spotlight to the irrational financial beliefs. Following irrational or wrongful beliefs on money might jeopardize your financial health. Awareness is the first step! Expand your knowledge about these three:

“There is an optimum way to becoming successful.”

Say your expat co-worker spent his entire savings on gold investments (i.e., Gold Exchange-Traded Fund). He used his gains to build his own enterprise. He was onto something and so must you. If you believe that one size fits all, you are mistaken. Generalizing is a cognitive bias that you must overcome.

Stick to employing a strategy that will suit your spending habits, financial goals, and current situation!

“Money can buy me people’s attention and love.”

You cannot please everybody, even if you are the shiniest coin in the purse. Having money does not guarantee that you will gain genuine affection and attention from others. It is better to focus on the things that you can directly influence (e.g., loving yourself, seeing your friends, or donating to charity).

“Earning money is a competition.”

Most of us will agree that Singapore unintentionally cultivates a competitive atmosphere from school to working years. For people who treat money as a scorecard, losing money can be immensely difficult. Imagine what will happen to those individuals when unforeseen circumstances (such as layoff and recession) occur! Their self-worth may shrink once their wealth depletes.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Instead of placing money as your top priority, put greater value to your family and friends.

Sources: 1 & 2

Telltale Signs That Your Colleague Secretly Dislikes You

While some people have no problem letting you know that they hate you, others may try to maintain their professionalism by hiding their unpleasant feelings.

Know some of the obvious and less-obvious indications of dislike by reading thru this list!

#1: HE OR SHE DOES NOT SMILE WHEN YOU ARE AROUND

As you pass by, the shinning smile on your colleague’s face dissolves instantaneously. The change in his or her disposition is not due to a hormonal mood swing or an occasional unpleasant day. It is deeper than that! Something is wrong as your colleague makes a conscious effort to not smile whenever you are in the room.

#2: HE OR SHE CANNOT LOOK YOU IN THE EYE

One of the most obvious signs that you co-worker dislikes you is when he or she cannot maintain eye contact. The eyes are the gateway to what is beneath your soul. People may be afraid to look you in the eye if they perceive that you have an ability to detect hostility.

#3: HE OR SHE DOES NOT INCLUDE YOU IN THE WORKPLACE HUMOR

Exchanging jokes and teasing are common in cemented workplace relationships. If the person who hates your guts is the leader of the workplace clique then, you may be constantly left out in the inner circle. They may not feel comfortable when you are around.

#4: HE OR SHE DOES NOT INVITE YOU TO SOCIAL EVENTS

Being excluded from the social guest list is one of the signs that your colleague does not want you around. “Sorry! We forgot to invite you.”, may be one of the lines that you constantly hear from that certain person.

#5: HE OR SHE DISPLAYS NEGATIVE BODY LANGUAGE

Communication is mostly made up of non-verbal cues. Uncover your co-worker’s genuine feelings toward you by observing his or her body language. Constant subtle eye rolls, lack of eye contact, and folded arms are just some of the red flags.

#6: HE OR SHE TAKES CREDIT FOR YOUR WORK

When a co-worker is determined to exclude you from all the important company discussions, it is clear that he or she does not want you to get involved. A more potent display of disdain is when a co-worker sabotages your role in the project by taking credit for your ideas.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Watch out for these!

Sources: 1 & 2

How To Deal With The Toughest Questions About Money

Nurturing an honest and educational discussion about money is highly encouraged. It is helpful to share personal saving tips and ways to cushion the challenging economy. However, it is easier to travel deeper into the conversation as you get more familiar with someone.

A nosy or rude question about money can push your pleasant discussion into an inaappropriate territory. Prevent judgment or unsolicited advice from coming by considering these approaches:

#1: HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE?

One of the most shocking encounters in my life was when my uncle’s neighbor directly asked how much I made. This is an inappropriate question to ask to a person you met for the first time. I wore a smile on my face and firmly said: “I am sorry, but that is personal. It is not something that you need to be concerned with.”

You may approach the same situation in a lighter manner by saying: “I earn enough to cover my needs and reasonable wants.”

#2: HOW MUCH MONEY DOES YOUR SPOUSE EARN?

When you are exercising a in-depth disclosure with your friends, it is easy to slip an invasive question from time to time. One person may ask how much your spouse earns per month. Divert the topic by saying: “We make enough money to enjoy your pleasant company today.”

If you are unsuccessful in changing the course of the conversation, politely state that you do not discuss financial matters outside of your marriage.

#3: ISN’T THAT TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOU?

A concerned family member or a close friend may bluntly ask you about an item he or she perceives as hefty. Alleviate the worries of your “asker” by elaborating how good you felt about your purchase. Also, you may share how much thought you exhausted before purchasing the said item.

I shall illustrate this scenario in the following dialogue below.

Gabby: How can you afford to purchase the new GoPro?
Jayden: I did my research. I shopped around Singapore to find a camera that I really desire. Do not worry about it! This GoPro is still within my budget.
Gabby: Okay lah!

#4: HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND FOR YOUR FLAT?

Real Estate in Singapore is a tricky subject. People may judge you for either spending too much or too little for your nest. Stay on the safer side by keeping your answers vague. Consider saying something along these lines:

a. It is more that we expected, but less that the actual asking price.
b. It was above our asking price, but within our budget.

Sway away from this matter by inviting the person as your guest in your upcoming housewarming.

#5: MOM AND DAD, ARE WE RICH OR POOR?

Children are immensely curious by default. As early as primary school, they begin to define themselves by observing the similarities and differences between them and the society. Their friends may brag about how much they have, but your child cannot fully appreciate what rich or poor actually means. This is why it is your responsibility to shape your kid’s definition of what it means to be well-off.

You can impart that the essence of being rich does not necessarily equate to a household’s net income. For instance, you may say that your family is rich in the love and presence of each other.

#6: HOW MUCH DO YOU EXPECT TO EARN IN THIS POSITION?

The juiciest job interview questions are related to salary. Your potential employer may ask you about the specific range of expected salary in order to make an offer. It is best to utilize a positive and direct response to avoid triggering the interviewer’s tougher side.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Say that I was put in this situation. My response will be: “I would greatly appreciate if you could make an offer that is based on the budget for this position. We can negotiate from there on.”

Sources: 1, 2, & 3

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