Communicating your desire to return to work after childbirth

mom and baby

Congratulations on giving birth and finishing your postpartum confinement.

If you’ve been a “career woman” all your life, you may be eager to get back to work after your 30-day confinement period.

So here comes the question:

Should you feel guilty about leaving your baby in the hands of a helper or not?

Well, I don’t think you should be because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to go back to work.

But, if you’ve never had a proper conversation with your spouse about the decision, it might pose a little conflict there.

It’s not always about financial issues

While having a single-income arrangement can put a strain on family finances, I think it’s not always about the money.

Let’s say your spouse has a decent-paying job and can support the family without you working, should you then make the “sacrifice” to stay home and take care of the baby?

Call me selfish but I won’t do it.

Yes, kids grow up fast and I may potentially miss the key moments of their growth if I’m a full-time working parent.

But, I didn’t come this far in my career to give up just because of family commitments.

So here comes the issue: talking to your spouse about it.

Share why returning to work matters to you

My reason to return to work after childbirth may differ from yours but ultimately, you want your partner to understand your stance.

Maybe you have big plans to upgrade from an HDB to a private property.

property showroom viewers

Image Credits: edgeprop.sg

Or perhaps you’re an extreme extrovert that thrives on being outdoors and having a work routine to look forward to.

Whatever the case, share why returning to work matters to you and come to a compromise if necessary.

Key considerations to have during the planning stage

There are inevitably many things to talk about but here are two I think should be settled:

  • Analyze your finances

Let’s say your husband’s income is satisfactory if you stay home to look after the baby 24/7. But if you decide to find a job, this means you will need someone to watch the baby.

Whether it’s leaving your little one to their ah gong/ah ma, considering half/full-day infant care, or hiring a full-time helper, that will mean some additional expenses every month.

Sit down and analyze your personal and family finances together, and see how to work things around.

  • Splitting the childcare responsibility

You’re only going to tire yourself if you parent alone. And you shouldn’t, anyway.

The baby belongs to you and your partner, and since you’re also heading out to work, then core childcare responsibilities should be laid out and split.

It’s impossible to spilt right down the middle but the main idea is to share the burden.

For instance, who’s going to drop off/pick up the baby after infant care hours, and how many “time-offs” does one get in a month (social life stuff)?

Seek parenting advice from others who’re on the same journey

You’re never alone.

Cliche but it’s true.

There are many people out there on the same journey as you are and I believe you will gain a lot from listening to the stories of others.

I found this active, private Facebook group called Stork’s Nest Singapore that has been around for more than a decade with over 14K members:

Stork's Nest Singapore Facebook page

Their posts are centered on babies/children/family/full-time helpers so I think it would be of great relevance to you.

As we close, I just want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to head back to the workplace. Gender-dictated roles have come so far and what our parents have gone through doesn’t have to dictate our future footsteps. It’s your life ultimately so whether you choose to be a “career woman” or a full-time mom, no one should have the right to point a finger at you and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.

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Ways to teach your child to be independent

mother and child brushing teeth

When you do stuff for your children that they are competent of doing for themselves, you are inadvertently sending a message that you lack trust in their capabilities.

As a result, the child loses self-esteem and independence and becomes unable or unwilling to complete age-appropriate responsibilities. This is often referred to as habitual defeatism. That explains why it’s critical not to hurry into resolving minor difficulties as they arise. Boost your child’s problem-solving abilities by asking if he or she can think of a solution. Offer them time to consider their options before presenting your suggestions.

Read on for ways to teach your child to be independent.

Allow failure

The most difficult lesson of all is to let your child fail and to be there for them when they need assistance. Don’t criticize or disempower them for underperforming, but don’t make their situation appear insignificant either. Failure is an inevitable aspect of life, and we will all stumble at some point. Teaching kids that it’s alright to keep trying will give them self-confidence as adults in the future.

Take time to teach

Most things are easier to complete yourself rather than having to educate your child on how to perform them. It’s also never pleasant to see your child battle with something you could simply help them with. Even so, consider the time you spend educating your child to perform a task on his or her own as an investment. You will spend less time performing those duties yourself next time if you take time now to teach your kid how to keep their toys or clean up their room.

Avoid over-supervision

Most kids require room to grow and change. And if they never have had the opportunity to be self-reliant as a child, they are unlikely to become more so in the future. Give your kids plenty of freedom to develop without being too much in “monitor mode” to foster independence.

For instance, allow them to play in their room without having to check in on them every five minutes. Whether it’s picking up the mail at the letterbox or ordering a meal at a fast-food restaurant, strive to figure out at least one opportunity each day for your child to do something independently with little supervision.

Shower praises and rewards
a mother praising her daughter

Image Credits: themontessorifamily.com

When children breach the rules or fail to stay on target, paying attention to them is tempting. However, giving them negative attention might reinforce bad behavior. So, catching kids doing something good and praising them is the key to encouraging positive conduct.

Don’t forget to present a bonus for your children for their independence. Whatever form of reward or incentive program you adopt, it should be realistic. Reward your child for achieving their goals in the same manner as your boss does after you meet your KPIs.

Consider how much easier life would be if your children made simple breakfast for themselves, cleaned up after daily meals, and helped around the house. Teaching kids to be self-reliant will not only make your life easier, but it will also set them on the route toward being more responsible young adults as they grow older.

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Cuddle up to motherhood with up to 35% savings at FairPrice Xtra’s Mum & Baby Fair till 7 April 2021

Motherhood is never an easy feat. However, when parenthood comes knocking at the door, it can sometimes be a blessing to answer it. Whether you’re expecting a child, a new parent with a newborn, or a seasoned mother with young kids, the journey can be challenging emotionally, physically, and financially.

FairPrice knows this too well, and thus they are here to support mothers like you trying to provide the best for your growing children. From newborns to toddlers, you can expect a wide range of baby product selection at FairPrice Xtra for your everyday needs.

In fact, we’re not just talking about diapers and formula milk. You can find sterilisers, milk bottles, bottle warmers, strollers, cribs, baby cushions, potties, and many more! Take advantage of the ongoing FairPrice Xtra Mum & Baby Fair till 7 April to stock up on your baby essentials. There are exclusive gifts worth up to $79.80 and gift vouchers tagged to specific brands when you shop at FairPrice Xtra.

While buying online can be convenient, receiving defective goods and seeking replacement may be tedious. As such, it’s better to head to the physical stores to check on the product personally. You may also approach any on-duty staff to test the equipment before purchasing. Selected stores are open 24/7 for you to walk-in any time to get your baby essentials.

We will now spotlight some promotional items worth buying, so stay on this page if you want to know what’s on sale. Hence, read on!

Diaper discounts you can’t overlook

1. MamyPoko Air Fit Range

 

Usual Price: 3 for $77.85
Now: 3 for $59.95

As its name suggests, MamyPoko’s Air Fit Range comfortably fits your baby’s bottom, following their body’s contour. At the same time, there’s 50% less pressure around their tummy, so your dear tot can move around without restrictions. MamyPoko Air Fit Range is ranked as the top choice of diapers for mothers in Japan, and it’s not hard to understand why.

If you’re planning to try out the series, you will be glad to know that FairPrice Xtra’s Mum & Baby Fair will offer you extra cashback on top of its existing discount. Get an exclusive $5 FairPrice gift voucher when you purchase 2 packs of MamyPoko Air Fit Newborn & Small size. Or buy up to $118 and above on Air Fit M, L or XL size to receive a $10 FairPrice gift voucher.

2. Huggies Platinum Naturemade Diapers

Huggies Platinum Naturemade Newborn

Usual Price: 2 for $42
Now: 2 for $31.25

Huggies Platinum Naturemade Diapers / Pants (M – XL)

Usual Price: 3 for $80.85
Now: 3 for $59.45

Your baby’s delicate skin deserves the best, and that’s why you should consider Huggies’ Platinum Naturemade diaper series. It’s lined with European-imported natural fibre with a touch of wheat germ oil filled with vitamin E to soothe and nourish. The ZeroFeel™ Technology with 12-hour absorbency will ensure that your baby gets to move as they wish without the fear of leakage. Remember to redeem your $10 FairPrice gift voucher if you clock a minimum spend of $80 on Huggies products.

3. Pampers Premium Care Range (Tapes: M52s / L42s; Pants: M48s / L38s / XL36s)

Usual Price: 3 for $82.50
Now: 3 for $56.95

Pampers Premium Care Range is as premier as it sounds. Mums and dads can be assured of their top quality to protect their sweethearts from uncomfortable diaper rash. This is all thanks to its silky soft wrap that will leave your child’s skin refined and smooth.

Depending on your kid’s motor skills and activeness, you can switch between tape diapers or pants. If you’re unsure which one’s a good fit, take advantage of the ongoing promotion to bag home the two different types to try. Enjoy an extra $10 off with a minimum spend of $60 on Pampers products and check out the promotion coupon in-stores.

Needful nutrition for your kids

4. Grow Milk Formula & Packets

 Grow Preschool Stage 4 / School Stage 5 Milk Formula (1.8kg)

Usual Price: $61.20 – $65.50 per tin
Now: $57.70 – $62 per tin

Grow Ready-to-Drink Packet Milk (4s x 180ml)

Usual Price: 2 for $10.60
Now: 2 for $6.90

Parents with preschool- and primary school-going children, we’ve not forgotten about you! FairPrice Xtra’s Mum & Baby Fair wants to lessen your financial load on milk formulas and packets now that you’ve been doing it for a few years. Proudly made on our sunny island, Grow’s products are about helping your child grow with immunity and brain development. Get a FREE lunch box by purchasing a tin of 1.8kg Grow Milk Formula or 4 packs of Ready-to-Drink Packet Milk.

5. Friso Gold Growing Up Milk Formula (Stage 3 & 4)

900g

Usual Price: $39.50 – $45 per tin
Now: $37.50 – $42 per tin

1.8kg

Usual Price: $139 – $156 per twin pack
Now: $125 – $140 per twin pack

Foundations are essential, and that’s why the team behind Friso Gold uses directly farmed fresh NOVAS Signature Milk to craft their milk formula. By utilising LockNutri™ Technology, Friso’s Holland dairy science experts retain milk protein structure in its most natural form, so your child can find it easy to digest. No sucrose and flavourings are added. Instead, it is formulated with only vital nutrients like prebiotic, probiotics, DHA, nucleotides, vitamin D, and selenium.

6. Enfagrow A+ Toddler / Children Milk Powder Formula (Stage 3, 4 & 5, 1.8kg)

Usual Price: $71.95 – $85.65 per tin
Now: Buy 2 x 1.8kg and get $7 off

To round us up our list of nutritious milk formulas for kids, we have the Enfagrow A+ Milk Powder Formula. Stage 3 is suitable for little ones aged 1 to 3, while Stage 4 is fit for kids from 3 to 6 years old. If you have children aged 6 and above, go for the Enfagrow A+ Stage 5 instead. The milk formula is imported from the Netherlands and contains DHA for healthy eye and brain development. It also contains zinc and iron to strengthen your child’s immunity levels.

Bargains on baby bath products

7. Aveeno Baby Wash & Shampoo (3s x 354ml)

Usual Price: $34.90 per bundle
Now: $29.95 per bundle

Aveeno Baby Wash & Shampoo is a paediatrician-recommended product from Canada. It is lightly scented and comes with natural oat extract to soothe and nourish your baby’s delicate skin. Parents with little kids that have sensitive skin will find this product a lifesaver because it cleanses fresh without over-drying. It also contains no eye-irritating substances, paraben, and phthalates.

8. Cetaphil Baby Products

Cetaphil Baby Body Wash – Moisturising 230ml

Special Bundle Pack 3 x 230ml
Now: $27.90

Cetaphil is one of the top dermatological skincare brands in Singapore, thanks to its gentle cleansing products for all skin types. If your child happens to suffer from sensitive skin, the Cetaphil Baby product range can assist in tackling dry skin woes. Cetaphil Baby Wash & Shampoo is a 2-in-1 shampoo and body wash which is enriched with glycerin and panthenol. It helps to nourish without drying or damaging your baby’s delicate skin.

FairPrice Xtra will also be giving out FREE baby milestone cards (worth $15.90) with a minimum spend of just $50 on Cetaphil baby products to sweeten up this deal. Here’s a look at your meaningful freebie:

Up to 31% off Philips Avent products

9. Philips Avent Electric Bottle Warmer

Usual Price: $69
Now: $48

Busy mums, this Philips Avent Electric Bottle Warmer is made specially with you in mind. Within just minutes, you can defrost and prepare nicely warmed foods for your precious little one. The bottle warmer manages the temperature automatically for you so you can leave it to work on its own while you get ready for work or spend more quality time with your baby. With this item at home, there will be no more overheating on both milk and baby food. Let the intelligent temperature control impress you!

10. Philips Avent Newborn Baby Natural Bottles Starter Set

Usual Price: $59
Now: $40.90

Since you’re planning to get the above electric bottle warmer, why not invest in the Philips Avent Natural Baby Milk Bottles too? This great value starter set has a range of sizes with soft and wide breast-shaped teats for babies to latch on naturally. For just $40.90, you get 2 x 4oz/125ml bottles, 2 x 9oz/260ml bottles, 1 x soother, and 1 x bottle brush. The advanced anti-colic system with an innovative twin valve will minimise baby discomfort. Best of all, it’s easy to use and a breeze to clean.

More savings with Lucky Baby merchandises

11. Lucky Baby AllerFree™ 3-in-1 UV Steriliser

Usual Price: $239
Now: $199

Lucky Baby’s AllerFree™ 3-in-1 UV Steriliser doesn’t just help with sterilising. It also acts as a dryer and storage space, so you get the best bang for your buck. Using superb low-temperature technology and dual UV lamps, this easy-to-use product will dry and sterilise your baby bottles, pacifiers, and more within 30 minutes. It’s capable of eliminating up to 99.9% of harmful bacteria without using steam or hot water. Wave goodbye to mildew or odd smells and say hello to better disinfection.

Can’t seem to make up your mind? What if we tell you that you will get a FREE Grandioz™ Baby Food & Bottle Warmer and a FREE Simplee™ Anti-Wind Manual Breast Pump and Bottle Set (total worth of $79.80) just by purchasing the steriliser mentioned above?

FREE Grandioz™ Baby Food & Bottle Warmer

The Grandioz™ Baby Food & Bottle Warmer is an innovative, lightweight dual function warmer. Use it to heat baby food and milk bottles to an ideal warmness, fuss-free! With the unique PCB control, milk is kept at a suitable drinking temperature for your little one. It comes with an in-built alarm buzzer to alert you when food is warmed and ready to serve. The light indicator at the bottom will also reveal the heating status just in case you missed the timer.

FREE Simplee™ Anti-Wind Manual Breast Pump and Bottle

The Simplee™ Anti-Wind Manual Breast Pump and Bottle is your second gift set with an AllerFree™ 3-in-1 UV Steriliser purchase. It comes with a pump and 2 bottles of 2 different sizes – 150ml and 160ml. The bottles come with a silicone air inlet at the base to allow air ventilation and minimise air intake by your baby. This could significantly reduce gas and burps! It’s also lightweight, so you can easily slip it in your handbag for pumping purposes outdoors.

Catch other attractive promotional items at FairPrice Xtra stores islandwide, and remember to visit by 7 April! Newlyweds who are not expecting a child immediately, it doesn’t hurt to drop by the Mum & Baby Fair to stay updated on the expansive range FairPrice Xtra can offer for your future baby plans and needs.

For all mums and dads with newborns and young kids, we’re cheering you on as you tread through your parenting journey!

Terms and conditions apply. Promotions are correct at the time of publish. Please check in store for more information.

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Singapore’s first luxury confinement centre has opened with packages from S$12,000

Kai Suites

The birth experience is beautiful and miraculous for many mothers, their babies, and families. However, it is also a profoundly exhausting and even medically traumatising journey.

After giving birth, many mothers need extended rest, recovery, and healing to recuperate from the delivery and begin to adjust to a new life together with their newborns.

This is where confinement centres come in handy because they can create a holistic and full-service experience for both the mother and baby.

Have you heard of KAI Singapore? KAI Singapore is Singapore’s first luxury confinement centre that’s specifically designed to heal and help a new family in every way possible.

Kevin Kwee, executive director of Laguna National Golf and Country Club, is the co-founder of KAI Singapore. He shared that it is common for new mums in Taiwan, South Korea, and China to recuperate in residential confinement centres in an interview.

the co-founder of Kai Suites

“After 18 months of market research, and finding many such places more clinical than comfortable, I thought I’d improve on the concept by co-founding KAI Singapore. Singapore’s ready for it; I already have local and foreign friends asking to reserve spots,” he added.

The Kai Experience

The centre provides a bespoke embrace to the concept of Japanese hospitality, also known as omotenashi. Kai symbolises restoration and recovery, the two most important factors for a new mother’s health and wellness.

They have a full spectrum of maternity care for families, from prenatal and nutrition advice to postnatal food, and body rejuvenation. The complete guidance is all done in an indulgent environment that rehabilitates every member of the family.

Location

Kai Suites Exterior

At KAI Singapore, every mother and child receives their suite in a hotel-like facility, one that’s both private and inviting while still being centrally located to town.

Have we not mentioned that they are located at 26 Dunearn Road? You will find yourself a less than 10-minute drive to Orchard from the confinement centre.

Not to mention the list of hospitals within a 3km radius:

  • 1.8km from Thomson Medical (3-minute drive)
  • 2km from Novena Mount Elizabeth Hospital (4-minute drive)
  • 2km from Orchard Mount Elizabeth Hospital (6-minute drive)
  • 4.1km Mount Alvernia Hospital (7-minute drive)
  • 2.8km from Gleneagles Hospital (8-minute drive)

Facilities & Services

Private mothers’ lounge

nursery offering camera surveillance

Mothers will be thrilled to know that there’s a private mothers’ lounge that allows mothers to rest and socialise while their babies are asleep in a nursery offering camera surveillance. Stay connected to your child at all times by viewing them through a mobile app.

Integrated wellness haven

Kai Spa

KAI Singapore is the first in Singapore to take the confinement experience and add luxury and elegance to it. You get to access a spa, salon, and aesthetics clinic during your stay!

Take advantage of the complimentary daily warm herbal baths and weekly breast massages to promote postnatal healing.

Their Kai Spa also has a range of facial treatments and therapy sessions for you to be pampered:

  • Age repair facial or essential rose facial
  • Prenatal massage using both Malay and Swedish techniques
  • Breast lactation massage to remove soreness and boost milk production
  • Head & shoulder massage which uses essential oils to soothe the tension away
  • Jamu massage & bengkung wrap to restore the abdomen to its original state

There’s also a relaxation lounge for mummies to get their pretty manicures and pedicures done!

24-hour professional care

Kai Suites reception area

As valued guests of KAI Singapore, you will be taken care of by a 24-hour expert care team. These are highly trained and supervised medical staff so you will be assured the best attention. There is also in-room dining, housekeeping, security, and concierge services.

Nourishing foods crafted by chefs & nutritionists

Kai Cuisine

Your daily meals are catered by a state of the art kitchen that uses fresh, local ingredients and traditional cooking. The menu tailors to the individual recovery needs and requirements of the mother.

Using Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)  principles of 一休二排三调四健养 (the process of healing, detoxification, restoration and nourishment), you can expect pure, natural, and wholesome foods with no added MSG or artificial additives.

Kai Cuisine is also all about using the best, natural herbs such as black dates, and sulphur-free ‘dang gui’ or angelica root. They even make their sauces, seasonings, and condiments from scratch in controlled batches in-house.

Every top-notch service is designed with Asian cultural values and heritage in mind, treating childbirth as a richly time-honoured tradition that provides rest and critical bonding time between mother and baby.

Package Prices

One of the Kai Suites

The standard package at KAI Singapore begins at S$12,000.

It comes with an extensive three-month prenatal program that teaches valuable mothering skills and wellness techniques, a seven-day stay after the baby is born, and a three-month postpartum program that helps mothers adjust to life with their new baby.

Guests can alter their stay-in periods and use the KAI Singapore’ intensive recuperation program for as long as their budget allows.

Final Thoughts

KAI Singapore is an innovation in luxury maternity management that provides top-tier services that address both mother and baby care components. There’s no better place to do it than at KAI Singapore for mothers who are preparing to welcome their new infant.

For more information, please head to kaisuites.com.sg.

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How To Master Working From Home With Kids Around

With the restrictions of the coronavirus pandemic and our compliance to social distancing guidelines, many of us have transformed our homes into offices. Your home is an oasis, except when you are forced to mix your personal life with your professional life. Schools may have opened last June, but some rotate between online and on-campus lessons. It is a gradual transition that comes with the new normal.

The “no kids allowed in the office” rule no longer applies to us. Employees and business owners are now juggling their household duties with their workplace tasks. Some find it a struggle to create a peaceful environment free from the distractions created by their children, pets, or younger siblings. Just take a look at the video below!

TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN

It is important to talk to your children about what is happening around them. Ensure that you are explaining the situation at an age-appropriate level. Some children may understand the safety restrictions, while others may see the pandemic as an unreasonable limitation.

Explain to them that we are looking out for each other during this pandemic. Part of how we help each other right now is by staying at home. Sometimes, a change in perception is all that we need.

ESTABLISH A SCHEDULE

One of the benefits of working at home is flexibility. Write down your priorities for the day and set them within your working hours. If you’re married, you may explore alternating schedules in coordination with your partner and your children. This will help you manage your household chores and office tasks accordingly.

Have an agreed schedule with your employer to ensure that you are filling in the required number of hours per day. Given that most of us work from home, some employers may understand the need for non-traditional schedules.

FOCUS ON YOUR PRIORITIES

Prioritize your work by accomplishing important tasks first. There will be interruptions along the way and it will take longer than usual. This is why you accomplish urgent tasks in the morning and save the minor tasks later in the day.

Avoid unexpected yells and loud noises in the background by hitting the mute button during conference calls. Toddlers will not understand that they cannot always have your undivided attention. If your toddler seeks your attention during a business call, you may ask to reschedule if you can. Minor tasks such as replying to client comments on social media may be done while your children are sleeping.

CREATE SNACK AND PLAY STATION

Find a spacious corner in your home and assign that as the “snack and play station”. Prepare a bunch of snacks and drinks for your children and instruct them on how much they can consume per day. Aside from this, you may let your child’s creativity run wild through free-play. Provide books, art materials, and other learning materials such as puzzles and blocks within this station.

Tackle your workload while your kids are having fun and playing safely on the corner.

PLAN FOR INTERRUPTIONS

Think of alternative strategies to minimize the disruptions from your family members. Firstly, you can take advantage of naptime. Do bulk of your heavy tasks during this time. Whether your child sleeps for one to three hours, use this time to complete tasks that seek your focus and concentration.

You may also setup a virtual meeting between your children and your relatives while you work. Ask a friend or a family member for a favor to teach your children a new skill while they are chatting online. Connecting your children to their friends and their grandparents through Skype, Zoom, or Facetime can be helpful to their well being too.

SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Let us face it! There are no professional advantages to pretending things are the way they used to be. Reduce your anxiety and manage everyone’s expectations by being honest with your coworkers. Tell them what is going on in your home office.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Similarly, you must be honest with yourself when it comes to your abilities in handling your children. You cannot turn into a good teacher overnight. Be patient with yourself and your children throughout the process.

Sources: 1, 2, & 3

 

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