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5 Major Money Lies That Can Tear Your Relationship Apart

The fundamental basis of marriage is trust. And when one or both parties breached that trust, it harms the relationship. As family law attorney, Steven Mindel once said: “Financial infidelity is the root cause of many crumbling unions.”

Prevent this crumbling from happening by knowing the 5 Major Money Lies That Can Tear Your Relationship Apart:

1. “IT IS JUST S$60!”

One of the most common financial lies that people are guilty about is lying about one’s spending. Instead of admitting that you bought a S$68 dress, you would round off its price to S$60 as it seems easier to accept.

I have to admit, I had done this a couple of times during my teenage years. I just did not want to tell my mother the whole truth due to the irrational fear of her getting mad at me. Applying the same childish notion to your marriage does not build a mature relationship! It is an unfair approach to spending the money that you both worked hard for.

2. “I ONLY HAVE ONE BANK ACCOUNT!”

Another financial infidelity case that experts see most of is hiding a secret stash. Having a separate bank account is acceptable but, you have to tell your spouse about it.

According to Nancy Butler, a certified financial planner and divorce financial analyst, one of the telltale signs that your partner is guilty of this offense is when you received a bank statement for an account that you did not even know existed.

3. “I PAID THE BILLS ON TIME.”

Sometimes, work and home stress can consume you to the point that you forget your responsibilities such as paying the monthly utility bills. To avoid confrontation, you immediately said that you settled everything already. By doing so, you can experience damage to your credit history as well as penalty fees.

4. “ALL OF MY MONEY GOES TO US.”

Growing up in an Asian household where family is one of the top priorities, it is hard not to help a family member in need. It is hard to be in a situation wherein you are thinking of your financial health while feeling responsible for that of the others.

These type of lie may come from the people who hate lying but they do not know how to handle the situation.

5. “WE ARE ABLE TO AFFORD THIS DEBT.”

In most cases, going further into a pile of debt is never a good idea especially if one of two parties is not even aware of it. Keeping your bad credit score or debt history from your spouse may lead him or her to taking on more credit. Instead of purchasing a home within your means, your partner goes beyond it due to the assumption that you both can afford it.

Image Credits: pixabay.com (CC0 Public Domain)

Telling your partner that you already have a budget for your debt is only misleading you both.

Sources: 1 & 2

Cheap Ways To Include DIY Crafts To Your Dream Wedding

Wanting a wedding that is immensely personalized and stylish yet money-saving? Then, consider including a myriad of lovely Do-It-Yourself (DIY) crafts. These DIY crafts can be used in wedding ceremonies, bridal showers, and receptions. Budget for these elements depend on the type and quantity of materials necessary to fill in the needs of the guests.

Since time is of the essence, here are 3 wedding DIY ideas that are easy and quick to make:

1. PAPER FLOWERS

DIY paper flowers with beads or laces could be presented at the centerpiece, at the wedding shower, or given as souvenirs. To flourish an elegant touch to your big day without breaking the bank, you can make the classical wedding pomander:

2. RIBBONS

Ribbons are beautiful to look at, especially if they shine with vivid patterns. You can just hang these at the entrance arches, doors, or bouquets to add a dramatic flair.

What’s more? You can even decorate a chair with 9 shades of ribbon colors or 10 types of ribbon patterns. Here is how:

a. Gather either the 9 strips of ribbon or the 10 types of ribbon patterns.

b. Tie the strips sideways and rotate these toward the middle.

c. The excess shall create a pretty fringe effect cascading down to the center.

For a portrait of the ribbon arrangements, click here.

3. MASON JARS AND CANS

You need not to have a degree in design to brighten up the special reception. Just place several mason jars or cans on the table and put small candles inside.

Image Credits: sugarspiceandnice.wordpress.com

Alternatively, you may place your family’s old wedding photos or your pre-nuptial photos too.

Image Credits: sugarspiceandnice.wordpress.com

Look no further for the perfect candles and mason jars. IKEA sells a pack of 12 small scented candles for S$7.90 while mason jars are sold as low as S$2.90!

Sources: 1, 2, & 3

Marriage With Credit: ‘Till Debt Do We Part?

Whether you like it or not, along with your marital vows comes the union of your finances. Your partner’s financial habits can either boost or ruin your financial future especially if he or she has a pile of debt. One’s credit history can affect several facets of your life such as loan eligibility, loan rates, and job applications. This is why it is important to openly discuss about your credit history and to plan your future finances together.

Here are some steps you may take…

1. HAVE A TRANSPARENT DISCUSSION

To prevent unforeseen monetary issues, understand each other’s view by explicitly discussing your differences on financial issues. For example, if your partner is a saver then, he or she may view money as an important currency that shall not be wasted.

Then, for honesty’s sake, show a copy of each other’s credit report. Know what your debt and income are actually worth so that you can realistically plan on how to pay for the remaining debt. Your partner’s lack of credit history will reflect on your credit score if you combine accounts.

2. PRACTICE THE ART OF MINDFULNESS

Gone are the days when Mindfulness is practiced solely for meditation. You heard that right! Actively paying attention to the present situation can affect your finances. As you are aware of what is happening in the present, you can make better decisions about money no matter how important it is. For instance, you will keep your credit score healthy because you are aware of the billing schedules. Also, having a present mind will allow you to be vigilant in checking whether the statement breakdown (e.g., phone bill’s data usage) is accurate.

3. LIMIT THE USE OF CREDIT CARD/S

It takes no genius to conclude that overusing your credit card will jumpstart your credit. So, if you cannot say farewell to the plastic card, you might as well limit your usage. As much as possible, keep your usage to a minimum, 25% below your credit limit is a good start. Then, pay off the balance monthly. Examine your progress together as you end the month.

Image Credits: Gareth Williams via Flickr with Creative Commons License

May these simple steps pave way for a happy and credit-free marriage! 🙂

Sources: 1 & 2

Should You Say, “Yes” To A Prenuptial Agreement?

BACKGROUND

In Singapore, more and more couples are interested to enquire about what Prenuptial Agreement entails.

Prenuptial Agreement (Prenup) is a contract between a couple that is about to get married. It is used to set the terms of assets, the control over properties acquired before marriage, the potential wealth division if the relationship later ends, and more. Sounds like a major romance buzzkill, doesn’t it?

Despite its reputation, prenups include significant benefits namely:

a. Protection from one’s debts incurred by the other party,

b. Offer supplementary certainty in financial arrangements, and

c. Protection of family inheritance or businesses in an event of divorce.

IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS

Before you sign a prenup, you must consider these 3 things:

1. IT MAY BE DIFFICULT TO DISCUSS

Even if we live in the most expensive city in the world where finances shall be carefully planned, do not assume that your future spouse is comfortable with pushing through a prenup. A prenup may suggest lack of trust in one party as you are planning for unforeseen divorce. Aside from this, talking about monetary and property division can make the marriage sound more like a business matter. Truly, this is a sensitive subject matter that should be handled with care, love, and honesty.

2. IT MAY NOT BE APPLICABLE FOR YOU

Just because your favorite celebrity did it does not mean that you should too! Prenup is not a necessity for everyone. But, I cannot deny that a prenup is especially helpful for couples that either earns about S$20,000 a month or already have children from previous marriages. Couples with previous marriages need to ensure that their children are protected and supported no matter what.

3. PRENUPS ARE IDEALLY BASED ON FAIRNESS

The idea of this written agreement is to highlight fairness and full disclosure of the couple’s assets. Terms have to be fair and reasonable to ensure that there will be no bias (e.g., elitism) and no coercion (e.g., use of threats).

Image Credits: Bambi Corro III via Flickr

Sources: 1 & 2

4 Ways To Stop Your Couple Woes Over Money

They say that love is unconditional, selfless, and priceless. But the truth is, you have to spend money for roses, dinner, or even diamonds during special occasions such as birthdays or Valentine’s Day. And these gifts do not come cheap! The influence of money on the relationship does not stop there. It is significantly present in marriage. In 2012, a study found that the more regular couples argued over money, the more likely they were to get divorced.

There are different reasons why couples have dispute over money. One reason is the opposing views that deeply affect their values to the point that it is hard for them not to be self-righteous in the subject. Although, if both parties truly love each other and are willing to work things out then, they can set their differences aside. Here are 4 helpful ways to stop your couple woes over money…

1. DISCUSS YOUR VALUES ABOUT MONEY

To prevent another issue to boil, understand each other’s view by explicitly discussing your differences on financial issues. For example, if your partner is a saver then, he or she may view money as an important currency that shall not be wasted.

Learn put yourself in your partner’s situation (i.e., spender or saver) by recognizing his or her financial strengths. For example, if you are buying a washing machine. While a saver may lean towards a cheap and used machine, a spender will want a costly and new machine. Compromise by combining the saver’s ability to get a good deal with the spender’s ability to commit to a new purchase.

Related Article: Psychology of Spenders and Savers

2. RELAX AND WRITE

When faced in a situation where you are already frustrated and about to burst, take a step back from those feelings. Avoid blaming or shouting at each other. Instead, write down your feelings or values about money and how you want your money dynamics to change for the better. When your temper is gone, exchange letters to know where your partner is coming from. If you want to break the cycle of feud, you have to work together to a fresh start.

3. PRODUCTIVELY PLAN TOGETHER

Ensure that you will have a productive and open communication on your financial goals and new budget plan. Change can be difficult and you may need to remind each other of your dreams and budget from time to time.

4. ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENCE

Although you have a joint bank account, you may want to have separate bank accounts for your personal finances including buying gifts for your spouse or child. This degree of financial independence can help you deal with the changes better. Keep in mind that you shall still honor the new budgeting scheme and financial goals even if you have a personal account.

Image Credits: Robert Bejil via Flickr

In resolving your money woes with your partner, it is important to keep an open mind. Remember that it is not about winning or superiority, instead it is about understanding your partner’s perspective on money.

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