Should You Help Your In-Laws Financially?

“Ding!”, you just receive an SMS from a family member that’s asking for financial support during tough times. We’ve all been there! When this happens to me, I give only what I’m comfortable losing as I don’t want to ignite conflicts. For starters, I’ve seen friends sacrifice their own financial stability to help family members, leaving them unable to save for their own future. It’s a tricky balance, and the emotional weight can be very heavy.

Watching someone you love struggle financially can be heartbreaking. If you have the means, it’s natural to want to help. But before you do, take a moment to consider the potential consequences. As financial expert Dave Ramsey wisely says, “The borrower is slave to the lender.” The last thing you want is for a family member to feel indebted to you, or worse, to start viewing you as a financial safety net. This dynamic can quickly strain relationships, especially if they start reaching out to you only when they need help. On that note, consider these things when deciding to help:

#1: TAKE THINGS SLOW

When a family member asks for money, emotions can run high. You might feel that saying “yes” is the only way to maintain the relationship. But it’s important to take your time before making a decision.

Consider whether you can truly afford what’s being asked. If you’re uncertain, it might be wise to discuss it with your spouse.

#2: THINK OF THE MARITAL IMPACT

If you’re married, giving financial support to in-laws or your own parents adds another layer of complexity. The last thing you want is to create tension between you and your spouse. Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so it’s crucial to ensure both partners are comfortable with the decision.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

If lending money might strain your finances or relationship, explore other ways to support your family members such as helping them apply for government grants.

#3: CONSIDER GIVING A MONETARY GIFT

If you’re financially secure and your spouse agrees, consider offering a financial gift instead of a loan.

If your in-laws are facing hardship due to job loss or health issues, a one-time gift can provide relief without the expectation of repayment, which can ease any potential tension.

#4: BE PREPARED TO SAY NO

If you decide that you can’t or shouldn’t provide financial help, it’s important to approach the conversation with honesty and empathy. For instance, it might be best to wait until your in-laws are more emotionally calm before having this discussion. Setting boundaries is important, but timing and sensitivity can make a big difference in how your decision is received.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Helping family members in financial need is never an easy decision. By considering the potential impact on your relationships and financial health, you can make a choice that supports both your loved ones and yourself.

Sources: 1 & 2

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New measures to improve housing affordability and accessibility in Singapore

singapore flats

Missed Prime Minister Lawrence Wong’s first National Day Rally speech on new housing measures?

No worries for we’ve got you with this post.

Here are the highlights you need to know.

Good news for singles

With families in mind, singles will now have priority access to new homes.

Starting in mid-2025, singles looking to live near loved ones will receive priority when applying for Build-to-Order (BTO) flats.

This change was recently announced by PM Wong.

We all know that housing is one huge topic for many living in Singapore.

In his first National Day Rally speech, PM Wong reaffirmed the government’s commitment to affordable, accessible public housing.

Currently, only those 35 and above can purchase new two-room Flexi HDB units as singles.

Recognizing this limit, PM Wong asked how more could be done for singles.

The solution?

Grant them the same priority now given to married children who apply within 4 km of their parent’s home.

This means singles stand a better chance at balloting for a new build near family.

As PM Wong shared, many singles also wish to care for aging parents so this update ensures all children, whether married or not, can more easily live close by.

Lower-income couples received good news too

The Central Provident Fund (CPF) Housing Grant, assisting first-time buyers, will see its maximum amount increased.

This extra support helps more young Singaporeans purchase their first affordable home.

“This is my assurance to all young Singaporeans: Once you start work and wish to settle down, we will make sure that there is an HDB flat that is within your budget in every region,” PM Wong noted.

“We will always keep public housing in Singapore affordable for you.”

National Development Minister Desmond Lee will announce more details soon so stay tuned to the news.

Seniors, too, are not forgotten

Additional housing options have also been created for seniors.

For instance, the brand new Harmony Village @ Bukit Batok, ready to be moved in later this year, combines apartments and care services.

harmony-village-bukit-batok

Image Credits: Facebook/Desmond Lee

More such developments are planned to help the older generation age gracefully.

Recovering from the pandemic

In addition, PM Wong acknowledged past housing woes stemmed from COVID-19 disruptions.

But steady progress has been made on new construction and all delayed projects should be completed by early 2025.

This will satisfy pent-up demand while stabilizing prices.

Meanwhile, the special focus remains on keeping HDB flats attainable long-term.

Upcoming policy refinements aim to shorten waiting periods for BTOs and make prime locations feasible for all.

The government is working on its public housing mission and helping citizens realize their home dreams.

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HDB has allocated over $742 million for upgrading works of these HDB flats islandwide

833 Jurong West Street 81

The Ministry of National Development (MND) and Housing & Development Board (HDB) have earmarked over 53,000 HDB flats for enhancements, as part of the latest Home Improvement Programme (HIP) selection.

These flats are dispersed throughout the island, and here’s the full list:

Hougang

Blks 358 – 363 Hougang Avenue 5

Blks 830 – 835 Hougang Central

Blks 460 – 468 Hougang Avenue 8/Hougang Ave 10/Upper Serangoon Road

Serangoon

Blks 531 – 535, 535A & 536 – 542 Serangoon North Avenue 4

Blks 500 – 506, 506A, 506B & 507 – 511 Serangoon North Avenue 4

Blks 232A, 234A, 236A & 255 – 258 Serangoon Avenue 2 / Central Drive

Ang Mo Kio

Blk 317 Ang Mo Kio Street 31

Blks 104A, 104B, 253 & 253A Ang Mo Kio Street 11/21

Blks 613 – 619 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 4

Toa Payoh

Blks 35 – 37, 43 – 46 & 48 – 50 Lorong 5 Toa Payoh

Blks 80, 80A, 80B, 81, 81A, 81B, 82, 82A, 82B, 84, 84A, 84B & 86 Lorong 2/4 Toa Payoh

Choa Chu Kang

Blks 201 – 204 & 205 – 221 Choa Chu Kang Avenue 1/Central

Blks 223 – 239 Choa Chu Kang Central

Blks 553 – 569 Choa Chu Kang North 6 / Street 52

Blks 305 – 308, 340 – 346 & 350 – 355 Choa Chu Kang Avenue 4/Loop/Central

Blks 150 – 152 & 154 – 160 & 162 – 164 Jalan Teck Whye

Blks 751 – 761 Choa Chu Kang North 5

Blks 762 – 771 Choa Chu Kang North 5 / Street 54

Bedok

Blk 140 Bedok North Street 2

Bukit Panjang

Blks 437, 440, 442 & 447 – 453 Fajar Road/Bukit Panjang Ring Road

Blks 170 – 176 Gangsa Road / Lompang Road

171 Gangsa Road

Image Credits: Google

Kallang

Blks 4, 5 & 6 Boon Keng Road

Blks 13, 14, 14A Upper Boon Keng Road

Blks 59A, 59B, 59C & 60 Geylang Bahru

Bukit Batok

Blks 285 – 287, 290A – 290G & 291A – 291E Bukit Batok East Avenue 3 / Street 24

Geylang

Blks 27 – 29, 33, 41, 42, 55, 56, 92 & 92A Balam Road / Circuit Road /Pipit Road

Blks 28, 30, 56 & 9 Cassia Crescent / Pine Close

Woodlands

Blks 401, 406, 408 – 410, 413 – 418, 421 & 424 – 427 Woodlands Street 41

Blks 851 & 856 – 864 Woodlands Street 83 / Blks 601 – 605 Woodlands Drive 42

Blks 701 –713 Woodlands Drive 40 / 70 / Blks 744 –747 Woodlands Circle

Blks 714 –720 Woodlands Drive 70 / Avenue 6

Blks 659 – 664 Woodlands Ring Road

Pasir Ris

Blks 463 – 466 & 478 – 487 Pasir Ris Street 41 / Drive 4

Blks 531 – 543 & 564 – 569 Pasir Ris Drive 1 / Street 51

Blks 544 – 562 Pasir Ris Street 51

Blks 203 – 216 Pasir Ris Street 21

Blks 217 – 230 Pasir Ris Street 21

Blks 231 – 251 Pasir Ris Drive 4 / Street 21

Blks 180 – 199 Pasir Ris Street 11/12

Blks 500 – 521 Pasir Ris Street 52

Sengkang

Blks 229 – 236 Compassvale Walk

Tampines

Blks 491A – H, 492B – D, 493A – E, 494B, 494C, 495A – F, 496B – G Tampines Avenue 9 / Street 43 / 45

Blks 242 – 247 & 253 – 256 Simei Street 1/5

Blks 472, 474, 476, 477, 479 – 484, 485A, 485B, 486A – C, 487A – C, 488A, 488B, 489A – C, 490A & 490B Tampines Avenue 9 / Street 43 / 44 / 45

Blks 301 – 323 Tampines Street 32 / 33

Blks 371 – 374 & 381 – 396 Tampines Avenue 7 / Street 32 / 34

Queenstown

Blks 129 – 133 Clarence Lane

Blk 134, 135 & 139 Jalan Bukit Merah

Blks 3, 3A, 5, 30, 30A Holland Close / Blks 7, 7A Commonwealth Avenue

Jurong West

Blks 961, 965 – 966 & 974 – 980 Jurong West Street 92 / 93

Blks 810 – 832, 828A & 830A Jurong West Street 81

Blks 357 – 363 & 365 – 369 Yung An Road / Corporation Drive

Blks 752 – 761 & 764 – 766 Jurong West Street 74

Blks 833 – 853 Jurong West Street 81

Blks 115 & 321 – 336 Ho Ching Road/ Tah Ching Road/ Kang Ching Road

A budget exceeding $742 million has been allocated for these upgrades.

Initiated in 2007, HIP assists flat owners in addressing prevalent maintenance issues like spalling concrete and ceiling leakage, which occur due to the natural aging of older flats.

This year, flats chosen for HIP will use a new Corrosion Resistant Repair (CRR) method in bathrooms to reduce recurrence.

Although the CRR method is more expensive and time-consuming, it will be primarily used for repairing spalling concrete in toilets, where the issue is most prevalent.

For other areas, HDB will continue using the current localized repair method.

The program will also include upgrades to improve the general living conditions of these flats.

Will you or someone you know be affected? Spread the news!

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The advantages of marrying a miser

wedding couple

Marrying/Married a penny-pincher?

Sure, your spouse’s frugal ways might drive you insane sometimes, but have you ever considered the perks of being hitched to a miser?

Before you roll your eyes… Hear us out.

Financial stability
  • Goodbye, money worries!

Your penny-pinching partner’s careful spending habits mean you’re less likely to get yourself into debt.

While your friends are maxing out credit cards, you will be sitting pretty with a healthy bank balance.

  • Your personal money guru

Think of your miser spouse as your very own financial advisor (minus the extra fees).

They are great at sniffing out deals and making investments; you will be building a nest egg that would make even Warren Buffett proud.

Who needs a lottery ticket when you’ve got a miser by your side?

  • Future-proofing your finances

With a miser in your corner, you’re likely to have a financial cushion to fall back on.

So when your car decides to throw a tantrum or your pipes’ got a leak somewhere, you won’t be left high and dry.

Budget consciousness

Ever catch yourself tossing out almost-empty shampoo bottles or letting food spoil in the fridge?

fridge filled with food

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Your thrifty spouse will put an end to that faster than you can say sorry.

They will influence you on what it means to stretch every dollar (and cent), making sure nothing goes to waste.

Long-term planning
  • Thinking ahead pays off

Your miser’s money meticulous character means you’re likely to have a solid retirement plan.

While others are scrambling to save near retirement, you will be sipping cocktails on a beach, thanks to decades of savings.

  • Weathering life’s storms

Your miser’s habit of living way below your means also ensures you’re always prepared for life’s lemons.

A sudden job loss or an unexpected medical bill doesn’t sound so scary anymore.

Minimalism and mindful spending
  • Embracing the simple life

When you’re with someone who’s very cautious with cash, you start seeing the beauty in less.

No more drowning in stuff you don’t need but want.

  • Thoughtful purchases, fuller wallet

You will probably find yourself asking, “Do I really need this?” before every purchase.

It’s not about depriving yourself, but about making smart choices.

Marrying a miser isn’t all doom and gloom. Yes, you might have to fight for every penny spent on fun stuff, but your frugal spouse is basically a human ATM, helping you save for the future especially when you’re not too good at it. Plus, you will become a pro at finding ways to live life on the cheap. Who knows, you might even find yourself enjoying clipping coupons and hunting for promotions yourself?

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What if your husband wants a baby but you’re not ready to sacrifice your career for it?

baby's feet

You’re reading this because you’re not quite ready to trade your office wear for maternity wear.

Balancing career ambitions with motherhood is tough, but even tougher when your partner’s biological clock is ticking louder than yours.

How should you approach this issue?

Well, both of you have valid feelings and your husband’s desire for a mini-me is just as real as your “love” for your job.

Chat about your hopes, fears, and dreams; maybe there’s a compromise hiding somewhere.

What are your options?

  • Delaying parenthood

Who says you need to have a baby right now? Consider setting a future timeline that works for both of you. Perhaps in a few years, you will feel more ready.

  • Alternative paths

Freeze those eggs, girl! It’s like pressing pause on your fertility clock.

  • Career flexibility

Look into flexible work arrangements, remote options, or even part-time gigs. Some employers can be very accommodating (or should be soon).

If you don’t already know, all employers must have a process for workers to request flexible work arrangements starting in December.

Here’s a quick summary of the abovementioned linked news article:

  • From December 2024, all employers in Singapore must have a process in place for workers to formally request flexible work arrangements.
  • Employers have two months to decide on such requests and must provide reasons if a request is rejected.
  • The guidelines aim to make it easier for employees to request flexible work arrangements while acknowledging employers’ right to decide work arrangements.
  • Flexible work arrangements include flexi-place (working remotely), flexi-time (adjusting working hours), and flexi-load (part-time work or job sharing).
  • Employees should make requests responsibly, considering the impact on workload and performance. Employers should explore ways to accommodate requests where feasible. 
  • Tripartite partners will provide support to employers to implement flexible work arrangements effectively, including training and funding.

To make a formal flexible work arrangement request, click through this link to access Tripartite’s guidelines.

Seeking support

familyassist.msf.gov.sg

You can also consider booking a session with a marriage counselor or family therapist to gain an unbiased perspective and let them be the guiding compass you need.

Or grab teh/kopi/bubble tea with a friend who’s been there, done that.

Also, it’s good to investigate your workplace support options. Are there flexible parental leave policies or back-to-work programs? Chat with HR on what’s available.

Making a decision

  • Setting goals together

As a team of two, write down your short-term and long-term objectives. Where do you see your career in 5 years? What about your family life?

  • Flexibility is key

Life likes throwing us lemons, so keep an open mind.

Maybe you can find an in-between, like delaying parenthood for a year or two while you go chase after some career milestones.

Or perhaps there’s a way to balance both without sacrificing either?

Don’t be afraid to voice your concerns. Your career matters too. Take time to think it through and don’t let anyone pressure you to make an immediate decision. Whatever you decide, make sure it sits well within you. Your life goals are just as important as his.

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