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You’ve probably been in this situation before: you strongly disagree with a colleague about something, but rather than share your opinion, you hold back for fear of causing conflict.
It’s easy to let disagreements fester when we bottle them up, but it’s also important to find a way to communicate effectively with our colleagues.
In this article, we will explore some tips for respectfully disagreeing with a colleague without making things uncomfortable.
Make sure your tone is respectful and thoughtful
You don’t want to come across as confrontational or aggressive.
Start by explaining your point of view clearly and concisely. Be prepared to listen to your colleague’s response, and be willing to change your mind if they provide a valid argument.
Avoid using sarcasm or inflammatory language, and try not to take things too personally. If things get heated, take a break from the conversation and revisit it later. It’s always best to resolve conflicts diplomatically, and that doesn’t mean you’re compromising on your beliefs.
Acknowledge the other person’s point of view
Acknowledging their perspective doesn’t mean you agree with them, but it shows that you’re listening and that you respect their opinion. It also helps to establish a calm and respectful tone for the conversation.
Avoid personal attacks or criticism
Don’t attack anyone personally, criticize, or make them feel defensive. Just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean that you need to be loathsome. Frame your requests in a way that’s constructive rather than critical.
For example, rather than saying “you’re doing it wrong,” try “I think there might be a better way to do it.” Use “I” instead of “you” statements. For instance, say “I didn’t like the way that felt” instead of “you made me feel uncomfortable.”
Avoid accusing words or phrases
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Try to use neutral language.
Rather than saying “You’re wrong about this,” you could say “I see things differently.” Or, instead of “You’re not considering all the facts,” you could say “I think there’s more to this than what we’re seeing.”
By using neutral language, you will increase the chances that your colleague will be open to hearing your perspective and potentially changing their point of view.
Respect differing opinions and stay open-minded
This doesn’t mean you have to change your sentiment, but it does mean that you need to be open to the possibility that you might be wrong. And, of course, the same goes for the other person too.
When you respect differing opinions and stay open-minded, it shows that you’re mature enough to hear what others have to say. It also creates an environment where people feel comfortable coming to you with their thoughts and opinions—even if they collide with your own.
Be careful of body language and facial expressions
Your body language and facial expressions can say a lot more than your words—so be aware of what they’re conveying.
For instance, if you cross your arms across your chest, that can come across as defensive. Instead, try to keep your arms open and your hands visible to show that you’re not being confrontational.
And if you’re making a statement that you know might be controversial or polarizing, it can help to offer an explanation or qualifier. For instance, instead of saying “X is the best way to do things,” you could say “In my experience, X has been the most successful approach.” This helps to show that you’re not closed off to other possibilities and that you’re just sharing your point of view.
Disagreeing with a colleague can be tough, but good to learn how to do it the right way. You don’t want to make them feel defensive, so be respectful. We hope you’ve found the few tips in this article useful for future implementation. Now, put them to good use this new year, and let us know if it works.
